We are all living in a world full of problems. So, we have developed a problem-solving mindset or mentality, naively believing that by solving others' problems, we could also solve our very own. Nothing could possibly be further from the truth.

For starters, how come we beset by problems of all kinds -- health, relationships, money, politics, and careers problems, among many others? It's because we are living in a complex world with complicated people and difficult circumstances. Where do these problems come from? They all come from our minds, which process our experiences, and they become our memories stored in our subconscious minds. These memories affect how we presently think, act, and react. We erroneously believe that we make our very own choices and decisions; the very fact of the matter is that our past memories control and direct, to a good extent, our conscious minds whenever we make our daily life choices and decisions.

The explanation is the fact that memories, both negative and positive ones, become our emotions, which ultimately create or become our problems -- even pleasant memories from the past. But how do pleasant memories cause us problems? To illustrate, should you have success in accomplishing something, the pleasant experience satisfies your ego, and that pleasant memory subconsciously makes you want to repeat your success in the future. That creates anticipation, as well as the requirement for more effort to ensure the reality of that outcome in the future. The process may generate stress, frustration, and also disappointment -- the sources of more problems further in the future. If you look more deeply, the root cause of your problems is your ego, which you want to satisfy and protect; Without the ego, there could be no expectation, and no extra effort necessary to sustain that ego created by your memories, and, accordingly, there could be no stress. As a result, you or your ego is the cause of all your problems, and you are 100 percent accountable for them. Let go the ego.

Along the way of solving our problems, we often endeavor to solve others' problems as well, thinking that solving theirs could also be instrumental in solving ours as well, because we erroneously believe that their problems may partly be accountable for ours too. Again, that will not work. Why not? It's because they, too, are 100% answerable for their very own problems, just as we are responsible for ours. To illustrate, the Russians tried to solve the Ukrainians' problems through military intervention, as the Americans strove to solve the Russians' with sanctions; Along the way, not only new problems will be created, but also the original ones remain unsolved. Solving others' problems is tantamount to "controlling" which never works in real life. To illustrate, if a stranger says something provocative to you, you then become angry; your anger is your problem, not the stranger's. You're not able to "control" just what the stranger says; your reaction may not even "stop" the provocation. So do not try to solve somebody else's problems (the stranger might have mental issues); solve your own foremost, such as reacting negatively to the provocation or controlling your anger.

As such, how do you solve your own problems without striving to solve others', or how do you stop believing that others' problems have become yours?

The answer is "awareness" or "mindfulness." The basic problem is that we "allow" the thoughts of a past memory from our subconscious minds learn to solve problems - https://belllibrary.dash.umn.edu/community/profile/stphenreynlds tell us what to say, what to do, and how to react. In other words, our past memories unconsciously control our conscious minds. and we do nothing to stop that. Because of this, in the event the stranger within the above illustration says something we "think" is provocative because we might have encountered similar experiences before, we act accordingly to what we did before or what our past memories tell us. If we had no past memories of similar incidents, we would have no anger. We have been all judgmental; our minds remember what we did before and our action or reaction anticipates the expected outcome.

But once we become "aware" that it was no more than a memory, and not only a reality, we may think differently with different perspective. Problem-solving will be around "awareness" -- what exactly is the problem? how serious is it? where does it come from? is there a solution (some problems have no solutions given that they are beyond our control)? what will be the answer to it?

"Awareness" or "mindfulness" allows us understand better our very own problems as well as those of others but without attempting to solve them ourselves. For the sake of illustration, the aggressive stranger already stated might have had a bad-hair day under extreme stress (although that might not be a valid excuse for the aggressive behavior towards you); your "awareness" of your lack of information might change your reaction.

The bottom line: frequently we create our own problems through our experiences, our mental interpretations of those experiences which have become our memories to continue to haunt us. Being within the present may go a long way to helping us have clarity of mind towards our problems without striving to solve those of others. Problem-solving may not solve problems.